Battle Hymn of the Trifecta

My collagen is garbage, and my everything hurts!

I often sing nonsense made-up songs to myself as I go about my day. I decide to write one down and share it. Sing it when you need it! I call it the “Battle Hymn of the Trifecta.”

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Well my heart's on fire, and my brain's the worst. My collagen is garbage, and my everything hurts!

I'm allergic to alcohol, allergic to emotion, allergic to the outdoors, and the indoors too.

I can't move a muscle without a tussle or a struggle And if I stand too fast I will straight up faint.

But I keep on going' and a-fightin' and a-doin' Because what the ever fucking fuck else could I do

I am strong and brave and tough and fucking tired. So bring me heating pads, compression socks, and braces, and you're hired!

Still my joints are bogus and my tendons don't work. 'Cause my collagen is garbage and my everything hurts!

Full Text: Battle Hymn of the Trifecta

Well my heart’s on fire, and my brain’s the worst.

My collagen is garbage, and my everything hurts!

I’m allergic to alcohol, allergic to emotions,

allergic to the outdoors, and the indoors too.

I can’t move a muscle without a tussle or a struggle,

And if I stand too fast I will straight up faint.

But I keep on goin’ and a-fightin’ and a-doin’

Because what the ever fucking fuck else could I do?

I am strong and brave and tough and fucking tired.

So bring me heating pads, compression socks, and braces,

and you’re hired!

Still my joints are bogus, and my tendons don’t work

‘Cause my collagen is garbage, and my everything hurts!

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